Gaming History 101

There are times when a game comes around that is seemingly so transparent that the public can shun it on general principle.  Perhaps it’s the fact that I can be more honest about my morbid curiosities or maybe it’s just the fact that I am into stupid things that the rest of the world can dismiss, but I still want to know if a game that has such a reputation is abysmal.  One such title is The Guy Game.  Developed by Top Heavy Studios – of which it shocks no one that this was the company’s only title – but what you may not know is that the man behind the studio is Jeff Spangenberg, most notable for Iguana Entertainment and Retro Studios.  Take-Two Interactive released this title in 2004 and it was accompanied by the likes of Serious Sam and Manhunt, so the company wasn’t unfitting.  Needless to say the game tanked, but not before strumming up a slew of controversy and had me interested in just what the hell it was.  Now that I’ve gotten my hands on a copy I can sadly report that there is no meaningful purpose for this game to exist…well, except boobs.

As if Top Heavy looked at the worst stereotypes of gamers and “spring breakers” all at once and weaved them into a shallow shell of a game, this title offers little value even to those that accept its very nature.  You and up to three other people get to compete in a sort of mini-game/quiz show hybrid where the stakes are topless young ladies.  Outside of the actual program proper each player is given a series of mildly homophobic rules about how to behave while playing the game and it is expected that all other players in the room assist to police each person, the penalty being to drink.  Even your player avatar reeks of desperation as you select one of eight models to represent you and if you play well enough, you guessed it, she too will get naked for you.  There are a total of 20 episodes, each one containing three rounds, and of course the mini-game that makes up round two in some derivative of beer pong is entirely optional (there’s a “skip” button at round start).  The other two rounds consist of watching young bikini-clad girls answering trivia questions that range from flat basic to college level academia.  Your task is simple: answer the question and then guess in round one whether the girl gets it right or wrong and in round three what wrong answer she gave for each question.  If you personally get the question right you get arbitrary points that hold no meaning to main game and by its own admission aren’t even considered.  On the other hand if you guess what the girl is going to do correctly the reward is that you get closer to seeing her topless without the game’s signature censor bars or mosaic.  So basically you’re playing a Magic 8 ball to hopefully see a set of breasts for one or two questions (it takes 8 perfect guesses out of 12 total questions to remove censorship).  I guess the long term reward is that you permanently unlock censorship for that episode, but if you don’t you have to play every other episode before getting the opportunity to play again.

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